i dont get it. why couldn't you fucking yell at me before i decided to choose my fucking major in college. why couldn't you tell me you didn't believe in me, why couldn't you tell me you don't think i've got a chance in the direction im going. i would've fucking changed my decision if you yelled at me like that earlier. but no, you decide to tell me once im settled and ready to take on college. thanks, dad.

these are the times i wish i could get a second opinion from you. i really miss you. i can't fucking handle being in this house with just him anymore. i always thought that the last person i could always count on to motivate me and tell me i could do it would be him, but no. after today, i wanted to just give up on everything. this is the lowest i've felt in a long time dad. i had to go to bed and think about why i could do this and why i could prove you wrong. im gonna ignore everything you said, cus if i keep thinking about it i'm gonna go to college and fail.